If you are reading this now, your life has probably been saved or enhanced by the gift of donation from someone you’ve never met. That itself is a humbling thought and a reminder of the tremendous gift that donation is. You no doubt are aware that sadness and loss have accompanied the gift of donation you received. And so, you like many recipients may be confused as to what to say or do. You may want to express your gratitude by writing, but may be afraid to intrude or add to the donor family’s grief and sorrow. The following information is meant to be helpful to you in regard to these concerns.

First of all, not all individuals who receive the gift of donation feel able to express their thoughts to the donor family. They may choose not to write. This does not mean they are less thankful. These recipients who feel they cannot write to their donor families have expressed to us at Donor Network that they live each day quietly remembering the generosity of their donor families. And sometimes, those same recipients, at a later time, do wish to express their gratitude in a card or letter. There certainly is no timeline as to when anything should happen, or, is there a mandate dictating what should happen. However, if you should choose to write your donor family, here are some guidelines for you to keep in mind.

Please remember the donor family may still be coping with the loss of their loved one and that individuals do deal with grief in different ways. Please communicate in a sensitive way. You may want to include some of the following in your correspondence.

• An expression of sympathy for their loss
• Your thanks for their gift of donation
• Your job or occupation
• Hobbies and interests
• Your family situation such as marital status, children, grandchildren
• How the donation has changed your life
• What has happened in your life since your transplant

To respect confidentiality and anonymity please use only your first name. Do not include your address, city or phone number. And do not reveal the name or location of the hospital or your physician. Give your correspondence to your transplant coordinator. If you do need further information about writing to Donor Families, please call the Coordinator for Family Services at Donor Network of Arizona, 1-800-447-9477.

And just as you had to make the decision to write your donor family, so too, the donor family needs to make a decision as to whether they feel comfortable to open and read your correspondence. If you do not receive any return correspondence from the donor family, please know that we at Donor Network are thankful that you did take the time to write to the family and express your gratitude. Even if the donor family feels unable to open your card or letter, or communicate with you, they will always know that you cared and were thankful for their donation.