One Step at a Time | The grief of a donor mother
Imagine walking across the entire country with only a backpack to carry anything you may need—including food, water and some type of shelter, such as a tent or sleeping bag. As little as she may have, the only thing truly missing for Divina Moreira Cruz will be her late son. This journey is one she plans to take later this year to honor her oldest child who became a lifesaving organ donor. He went through his own difficult journey that resulted in him saving the lives of four people.
Pedro Augusto Moreira Cruz smiled enough to make his cheeks hurt daily. His mother, who brought him to the United States from Brazil when he was only 7 years old, says he had a heart too big for his own good—always caring for others at his own expense. That regard for his fellow human showed itself, as it often did in his life, one day when he got his driver’s license at a Tucson area Arizona Department of Transportation Motor Vehicle Division (ADOT MVD) office.
Before making his final decision, he asked his mother what checking the box meant. With less than 10 second’s worth of explanation, he checked yes.
“Of course he said yes!” Divina says, with pride flashing across her face with a smile. “He didn’t fully understand the process, but he knew what it meant to save other people.”
What mattered to him was helping. His mother remembers assuming his choice to sign up as a donor was something he wouldn’t have to worry about for “another 80 years.” But Pedro gave his gifts of life much sooner. A drug overdose of prescription medications ended his time on earth in November 2017, and it shoved the lives of those closest to him into a new direction with the harsh reality of a child taken too soon.
“I forgot he had already gotten the heart on his driver’s license,” says Divina, recalling her first thought when she learned Pedro would not recover after the lack of oxygen to his brain. “I told them to make sure he could help other people if anything happened to him.”
Patrick Mooney, a donor family advocate from Donor Network of Arizona, cared for Divina and her family throughout the donation process. He was impressed with her commitment to her son’s final wishes to share life.
“I’ve thought that if I ever found myself in a similar place as Divina, I would pray for the same kind of grace she demonstrated,” says Mooney. “I am grateful my position allows me to catch brief moments of life-altering grace.”
Divina’s grace was far from brief, though. Just more than a year after Pedro passed away, Divina visited Tucson Fire Department Station 13—the team who exhausted all lifesaving efforts while they rushed Pedro to the hospital in his final hours. Divina wanted them to know that, while Pedro is no longer here, she sees the silver lining. Other people can walk, breathe and live today because of Pedro’s decision and the care of this EMS team.
“I reminded [the paramedic] that the heart he fought so hard to keep alive is still beating in another person’s chest,” Divina wrote in a Facebook post about her visit. “Sadly, I was surprised to hear that they don’t have a lot of people in the community showing appreciation for the work they do.”
Pedro saved four people with his gifts of life, including both kidneys and his liver. His heart went to a 20-year-old woman who would not be here today without his decisive generosity.
“There’s a woman out there with a man’s heart,” his mother says, hoping to meet the woman who carries on a part of her son’s love. “She is now our extended family.”
So, one foot in front of the other, the countless steps Divina will take on her walk across the country to educate the public about organ and tissue donation may prove to be the most physically taxing challenge she’ll ever tackle—only trumped by the anguish of losing Pedro and the desire to meet the people he saved and healed.
With her eyes on the horizon, Divina’s walk will serve as a gesture of a mother’s love for her child as she moves on through the grief. Along with those basic necessities in that backpack, she carries Pedro’s legacy on her shoulders for life.
Celebration of Life
Isabel Dominguez (back, second from left) honored her big brother’s legacy with her family at the Celebration of Life.
On Sept. 17, 2017, donor families from across Arizona attended the Donation Celebration of Life. This outdoor, family-friendly event created a space to share stories and celebrate loved ones who selflessly gave life to others.
Isabel Dominguez attended in honor of her older brother George Louis Bernal III, who passed away in a car accident at the hands of a drunk driver in 1999. It has been 18 years since 22-year-old Bernal became a donor and gave the gift of life and healing to at least two others. Dominguez and her family keep his memory alive every day.
As Dominguez grew up she realized how much it would mean to meet the man her brother’s heart saved.
“I struggled to put my words together because I wanted it to be perfect, but eventually I wrote the letter,” Dominguez says. “I wanted validation that my brother did something amazing and gave someone another 16 years of life.”
Hearts Reunited
Despite her fears, Dominguez received a call a month later from Gene Johnston, the man who is alive today thanks to her brother. Their families finally met in 2016 and are still in constant communication.
The touching reunion allowed Dominguez and her family to ask Johnston about his life now that he was given a second chance. He told them that his heart was still her brother’s heart, that he was just borrowing it. Dominguez also bonded with Johnston’s wife and talks to her every day.
“Now my goal is to keep his memory alive. We’ve had a lot of closure this year and we want to maintain my brother’s memory,” she says.
The family’s first event with Donor Network of Arizona (DNA) was a luncheon last year. Since then they have met countless other families impacted by donation. Everyone came together at the Donation Celebration of Life to honor their loved ones and take comfort in the company of others who know a similar journey.
“You meet all these people and you know it took a tragic event for them to be there, but you’re a family.”
Donate Life ECHO to Save Lives
At just 4 days old, Adrianna Martinez’s doctors confirmed she was born without small intestines, and her only chance for survival was a transplant.
Adrianna’s family waited patiently as their little girl grew big enough for a transplant, and in November 2009, seven days after her first birthday, Adrianna received a liver, pancreas and small intestine transplant.
Currently there are more than 2,300 people in Arizona on the national organ transplant waiting list. Of those waiting in Arizona, more than 59 percent are minorities, a number that is reflected across the board nationally, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing.
From July 9 to July 22, we celebrate the fact that everyone has the opportunity to save lives through organ and tissue donation. The Association for Multicultural Affairs in Transplantation partnered with Donate Life America in 2015 to create Donate Life ECHO, which stands for Every Community Has Opportunity. Donation gives every community the chance to make a difference, and some even watch the gift of life come full circle.
Adrianna is now a healthy 4-year-old, and everyone in Adrianna’s family has since registered as donors.
“Her story has inspired many of our friends and family,” says Tasha Bowman, Adrianna’s mother. “Some were once afraid to donate, and now they support it.”
These two weeks of Donate Life ECHO bring attention to the current health needs of multicultural communities and help encourage registrations and education to end the waiting list.
Join Donate Life Arizona and Arizona Hospital and Healthcare Association on July 18 from 10 to 11 a.m. MST for a Twitter chat about #DonateLifeECHO. Give hope to those who are waiting on the generosity of a stranger by linking your community to the conversation and registering to be an organ and tissue donor.
“Donation gave Adrianna a normal life. We are so grateful to the family who donated their loved one’s organs,” says Tasha.
Donate Life Day at the Diamondbacks
We hit a home run for donation at Donate Life Day at the Diamondbacks! On Sunday, April 30, more than 700 guests joined us in their green Donate Life T-shirts at Chase Field to celebrate organ and tissue donation.
Donate Life Arizona staff and volunteers were joined by volunteers from Maricopa Integrated Health System at a registration table during the game. Those who registered or reaffirmed their decision to be organ, cornea and tissue donors at the game proudly sported blue Donate Life hats.
Before the D-backs faced the Colorado Rockies, families of Calvin Mosman, Christopher Jagodzinski, and Roman Fuentes-McCaa honored their loved ones’ generosity and strength on the field. Recipients Hank Rausch, Robert Fowler and Larry Fowler joined the families on the field to be recognized on the Jumbotron.
Ashley Foster, two-time intestine and pancreas recipient, kicked off the game with the first pitch. To honor recipients and donors, Ashley decorated her Donate Life shirt with the names of those who have been touched by donation. She was thrilled to represent the transplant community and to fulfill her lifelong dream of throwing the first pitch at a Diamondbacks game.
Back in the stands, the Donate Life section was a sea of enthusiastic supporters of organ and tissue donation. People were cheering on the team and holding posters encouraging other D-backs fans to come register while Larry and Robert Fowler, heart recipients and twins, were interviewed by Fox Sports. “I am incredibly thankful to my donor family, and I hope to meet them someday and personally thank them for this meaningful gift,” says Larry.
Donate Life Arizona also joined in the fun during several of the activities between innings. Even three of the youngest Donate Life fans fiercely competed in the hot dog race. The kids put on ketchup, mustard and relish costumes and ran as fast as they could. In the end, relish won, but fun was had by all!
After the hot dog race, Olivia Tallabas, living donor and recipient daughter, ran onto the field to change the bases. Olivia became a living donor in March 2003, when she donated her left kidney to her father. Her dad was a kidney and liver transplant recipient.
Thanks to the enthusiasm of the Donate Life section, and their fun presence throughout the game, attendees all across the stadium registered and reaffirmed their decision to save lives. The D-backs won the game against the Colorado Rockies, and Donate Life fans hit it out of the park!