One Step at a Time | The grief of a donor mother
Imagine walking across the entire country with only a backpack to carry anything you may need—including food, water and some type of shelter, such as a tent or sleeping bag. As little as she may have, the only thing truly missing for Divina Moreira Cruz will be her late son. This journey is one she plans to take later this year to honor her oldest child who became a lifesaving organ donor. He went through his own difficult journey that resulted in him saving the lives of four people.
Pedro Augusto Moreira Cruz smiled enough to make his cheeks hurt daily. His mother, who brought him to the United States from Brazil when he was only 7 years old, says he had a heart too big for his own good—always caring for others at his own expense. That regard for his fellow human showed itself, as it often did in his life, one day when he got his driver’s license at a Tucson area Arizona Department of Transportation Motor Vehicle Division (ADOT MVD) office.
Before making his final decision, he asked his mother what checking the box meant. With less than 10 second’s worth of explanation, he checked yes.
“Of course he said yes!” Divina says, with pride flashing across her face with a smile. “He didn’t fully understand the process, but he knew what it meant to save other people.”
What mattered to him was helping. His mother remembers assuming his choice to sign up as a donor was something he wouldn’t have to worry about for “another 80 years.” But Pedro gave his gifts of life much sooner. A drug overdose of prescription medications ended his time on earth in November 2017, and it shoved the lives of those closest to him into a new direction with the harsh reality of a child taken too soon.
“I forgot he had already gotten the heart on his driver’s license,” says Divina, recalling her first thought when she learned Pedro would not recover after the lack of oxygen to his brain. “I told them to make sure he could help other people if anything happened to him.”
Patrick Mooney, a donor family advocate from Donor Network of Arizona, cared for Divina and her family throughout the donation process. He was impressed with her commitment to her son’s final wishes to share life.
“I’ve thought that if I ever found myself in a similar place as Divina, I would pray for the same kind of grace she demonstrated,” says Mooney. “I am grateful my position allows me to catch brief moments of life-altering grace.”
Divina’s grace was far from brief, though. Just more than a year after Pedro passed away, Divina visited Tucson Fire Department Station 13—the team who exhausted all lifesaving efforts while they rushed Pedro to the hospital in his final hours. Divina wanted them to know that, while Pedro is no longer here, she sees the silver lining. Other people can walk, breathe and live today because of Pedro’s decision and the care of this EMS team.
“I reminded [the paramedic] that the heart he fought so hard to keep alive is still beating in another person’s chest,” Divina wrote in a Facebook post about her visit. “Sadly, I was surprised to hear that they don’t have a lot of people in the community showing appreciation for the work they do.”
Pedro saved four people with his gifts of life, including both kidneys and his liver. His heart went to a 20-year-old woman who would not be here today without his decisive generosity.
“There’s a woman out there with a man’s heart,” his mother says, hoping to meet the woman who carries on a part of her son’s love. “She is now our extended family.”
So, one foot in front of the other, the countless steps Divina will take on her walk across the country to educate the public about organ and tissue donation may prove to be the most physically taxing challenge she’ll ever tackle—only trumped by the anguish of losing Pedro and the desire to meet the people he saved and healed.
With her eyes on the horizon, Divina’s walk will serve as a gesture of a mother’s love for her child as she moves on through the grief. Along with those basic necessities in that backpack, she carries Pedro’s legacy on her shoulders for life.
Transplant Games of America
The bright blue sky makes it hard to distinguish the path of a small, white golf ball, but liver recipient Steve Whitehead watches attentively until he sees the ball bounce onto the green in the distance. Steve and his teammate, Jim Manning, hop into their golf cart and speed off to complete the hole.
Jim and Steve have something more in common than a love for golf. They are both liver recipients, and are competing in Transplant Games of America with every swing. After 18 holes, Transplant Team Arizona competitors pull up at the clubhouse and await the results of their game. The process of displaying points is traditionally done by hand in calligraphy, so the players pass the time by chatting with other teams.
Everyone here has a story and most have a transplant journey to share. Steve and Jim have both attended the games since 2004, though Steve missed the games in 2012 because of his second transplant.
A Growing Community
Every other year, hundreds of transplant recipients and living donors compete in 21 different sports and activities as part of Transplant Games of America. Donor families and supporters of organ, cornea and tissue donation can also attend to cheer on the athletes. The 2018 Transplant Games took place in Salt Lake City, Utah, from August 2-8. This year 40 teams attended, including international teams from Australia, Brazil and India.
Competitors at the games truly represent the entire transplant community. From the youngest at 3 years old, to the oldest at 89, there is a sport for everyone. One of the youngest competitors, 3-year-old Daisy from Transplant Team Arizona, showed off her skills in the Youth Olympiad, cornhole and track and field events. Thanks to her heart transplant, Daisy can run, play and earn medals for her team.
Daisy isn’t the only one who earned medals this year. As the tallying wraps up, it becomes clear that Steve and Jim have placed first in their age group. None of the Transplant Team Arizona competitors would be here today without the generosity of their donors who gave them a second chance at life.
“It’s about honoring your donor, not about the medal count,” Steve says. “It’s about taking time to appreciate the moment and spend time around people who know what you’ve been through.”
Jim Manning (l top) with Steve Whitehead (r top) as they placed first in golf for their age group.
Breaking A Record
On the final day of the Transplant Games, competitors gathered to make one more powerful statement in honor of their donors. Recipients stood together and held up signs with the type of transplant they received. They cheered as they broke the previous Guinness World Record for largest gathering of organ transplant recipients. The number to beat is now 540 people.
Transplant Team Arizona made the journey home with 41 medals and, more importantly, a renewed sense of community. To view more photos from the games, click here and here.
Gear Up: Loading Your Donation Toolbox
Four-year-old Jaxson Dahl has a small ninja turtle backpack that he wheels around with him wherever he goes. Unfortunately, this backpack is more than just a childhood passion. His life depends on the medical equipment inside as he waits for an intestinal, liver and pancreas transplant.
Jaxson’s mother, Katie, attended Donor Network of Arizona’s (DNA) 2017 Donation Symposium, “Gear Up: Loading Your Donation Toolbox,” to share his story with donation partners.
“Everyone tells me I’m brave, but Jaxson’s the brave one. I’m raising a warrior,” she told the audience, which included everyone from nurses and emergency professionals to funeral home professionals and respiratory therapists.
A Day of Learning
The Donation Symposium was an all-day conference that provided classes and educational resources tailored to meet the needs of donation partners. This year, DNA loaded up their donation toolbox with all the necessary tools to help donation succeed in Arizona on Thursday, Aug. 24, at Desert Willow Conference Center.
“DNA strives to present the tools for success to these professionals because they play such an important role in the donation process,” says Kristine Roberts, professional education coordinator at DNA.
Nearly 400 attendees enjoyed a full day of learning about tools that will help them not only do their job better, but also improve outcomes for donation.
Learning tables set up in the lobby represented the different roles that DNA plays in the donation process. The Public Education table displayed all the different ways that someone can register as an organ and tissue donor. There was also a kidney pump and a lung in a box to show new advances in organ care before transplant.
DNA staff manned the Public Education table to educate about different ways to register and hand out prizes to everyone who played a game during the event.
Saving Lives Together
Three plenary sessions were spaced throughout the day to provide insights to donation that were useful for all attendees. One session highlighted the entire donation process, and the roles that everyone plays in making donation a success. A guest speaker reviewed the best new technologies and innovations to save lives in another session. The last plenary session explored new perspectives with which to view the donation process.
Every day thousands just like Jaxson are waiting for a call that might save their life. It is vital that everyone in the donation process understands just how impactful their actions can be for someone else. Tools shared at the Donation Symposium helped guests expand their view of donation and learn how their job affects this chain of generosity.
Dr. Winston Hewitt discussed many aspects of the liver waitlist, including new technology and some of the challenges that need to be overcome in order to shorten or eliminate it.
Arizona Mother Saves Her Son’s Life
Jaimy Burdine, 33, from Buckeye, Arizona, was kind, fearless and a devoted mother of two kids. Her children were her life, a life she sacrificed for them.
According to Jaimy’s mother, Vikki Burdine, Jaimy wasn’t afraid of anything.
“She learned to roller skate at the age of two, and removed her training wheels at three; she feared nothing as a child” says Vikki.
April 5, 2015, was supposed to be a joyful day, not only because it was Easter Sunday, but also because the family had chosen this day to celebrate Jaimy’s youngest son’s first birthday. Everything was ready for the celebration, including dinner plans with family and friends later in the day.
Jaimy, her son and Vikki kicked off the day by going on a horse cart ride, something they had done many times before. However, the peaceful ride turned into tragedy when the horse was startled and began to run uncontrollably. Vikki, who had many years of equestrian experience, tried to make the family horse stop, but she wasn’t able to.
Jaimy feared for her son’s life as the horse kept running; she knew she had to make a decision to protect him from harm’s way. Jaimy held her son tightly into her arms and made the brave decision to jump backwards from the cart while the horse kept running. This heroic act saved her son’s life, who only suffered a few scratches. However, Jaimy landed on her back and hit her head on the ground, suffering a devastating brain injury.
Vikki was able to escape when the horse fell trying to make a turn. She ran back to her daughter’s aid while paramedics tried to save her. Sadly, Jaimy’s injuries were too severe. She took her last breath in her mother’s arms.
Arizona Department of Transportation MVD Saves Lives Month
After her daughter passed away, Vikki learned that Jaimy had registered at the Arizona Department of Transportation Motor Vehicle Division (ADOT MVD) as an organ and tissue donor.
“Jaimy always wanted to help others, but thought she had little to offer. She would’ve never believed she could save her son’s life – and, ironically, because she registered as a donor, she was able to save four more lives and make life better for countless more,” says Vikki.
Donor Network of Arizona (DNA) celebrates August as ADOT MVD Saves Lives Month as a way to show appreciation for ADOT MVD’s important role in helping save and heal lives. Since 2003, this crucial partnership makes the most of life through the gift of organ and tissue donation, as 95 percent of donor registrations come from Arizonans making the generous decision to check the box when applying for or renewing their driver license or ID.
“Making the decision to donate your organs is a very meaningful one,” says MVD Director Eric Jorgensen. “Through our great partnership with the Donor Network of Arizona, we’re able to help make it easier for people to sign up.”
Currently in our state, nearly 2,300 patients are waiting on the transplant list for the gift of life. Arizonans can help save and heal lives by registering as organ and tissue donors by checking the box at ADOT MVD when they renew or obtain a new ID, or by visiting www.DonateLifeAZ.org.
Slam Dunk for Donation with Phoenix Mercury
Thanks to the Phoenix Mercury, heart recipient and Donate Life Arizona volunteer Evelyn Strope enjoyed a night of special recognition with the team she loves.
At the age of 14, Strope was diagnosed with ventricular septal defect, a medical condition that creates a hole in the wall of the heart, dividing the left and right ventricles. By the time she was 20, she had undergone two open heart surgeries to try to fix the problem.
It was during her second operation that Strope was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Her only option to live depended on a lifesaving heart transplant. Due to her worsening condition, Strope, who loved playing basketball and dreamt of joining the WNBA, was not able to play the sport she so deeply loved.
Her health continued to decline, and after spending nearly nine months in the hospital and being on heart medication for 10 years, Strope, now 30, was added to the national transplant waiting list. Nearly two years later, she received the news she had hoped for: a heart was available for her. Since receiving her lifesaving transplant, Strope has been able to go on cruises, visit national parks and play basketball again. Strope has also had the opportunity to meet the family of her donor, a 15-year-old girl named Amber.
“She means the world to me. She gave me a second chance at life that I wouldn’t have had otherwise; she’s given me the opportunity to fulfill my dreams that I wouldn’t have been able to do,” says Strope.
A Game to Remember
On Friday, July 14, the Phoenix Mercury honored Strope and Donate Life Arizona with a night to remember. The hometown female basketball team invited Strope to the court to watch the team warm up for their game against the Minnesota Lynx, one of their fiercest rivals. She was wearing the jersey the Phoenix Mercury made just for her, with number eight representing the number of lives someone can potentially save through organ donation.
While waiting for the game to start, fans watched the Donate Life Arizona message broadcasted on the many screens around the arena, encouraging them to register to give the gift of life.
The excitement culminated for Strope when the Phoenix Mercury presented her with a ball signed by the whole team during half time. Thanks to her lifesaving transplant she can cheer on the Phoenix Mercury and enjoy more time with her loved ones.
Partnership to Save Lives
All season Donate Life Arizona has been scoring slam dunks for donation with the Phoenix Mercury WNBA team! The Phoenix Mercury chose Donate Life Arizona to attend games to educate and register basketball fans as organ and tissue donors this summer. Thanks to the enthusiasm and generosity of X-Factor Mercury fans and game attendees, Donate Life Arizona has received 80 new registrations so far! These new registered donors have the power to save more than 600 lives through organ donation and heal up to 4,000 more through tissue donation.
Attend upcoming games on Aug. 12 and Aug. 24 to register or reaffirm your commitment to donation and get some free Donate Life swag and a chance to win a signed photo of a Mercury team member!
Donate Life ECHO to Save Lives
At just 4 days old, Adrianna Martinez’s doctors confirmed she was born without small intestines, and her only chance for survival was a transplant.
Adrianna’s family waited patiently as their little girl grew big enough for a transplant, and in November 2009, seven days after her first birthday, Adrianna received a liver, pancreas and small intestine transplant.
Currently there are more than 2,300 people in Arizona on the national organ transplant waiting list. Of those waiting in Arizona, more than 59 percent are minorities, a number that is reflected across the board nationally, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing.
From July 9 to July 22, we celebrate the fact that everyone has the opportunity to save lives through organ and tissue donation. The Association for Multicultural Affairs in Transplantation partnered with Donate Life America in 2015 to create Donate Life ECHO, which stands for Every Community Has Opportunity. Donation gives every community the chance to make a difference, and some even watch the gift of life come full circle.
Adrianna is now a healthy 4-year-old, and everyone in Adrianna’s family has since registered as donors.
“Her story has inspired many of our friends and family,” says Tasha Bowman, Adrianna’s mother. “Some were once afraid to donate, and now they support it.”
These two weeks of Donate Life ECHO bring attention to the current health needs of multicultural communities and help encourage registrations and education to end the waiting list.
Join Donate Life Arizona and Arizona Hospital and Healthcare Association on July 18 from 10 to 11 a.m. MST for a Twitter chat about #DonateLifeECHO. Give hope to those who are waiting on the generosity of a stranger by linking your community to the conversation and registering to be an organ and tissue donor.
“Donation gave Adrianna a normal life. We are so grateful to the family who donated their loved one’s organs,” says Tasha.
Words from a Donor Family
Michelle Montijo (r) remembers Celeste Machiche (pictured) with her family. Her sister always loved wearing red Chucks and spreading her happiness freely.
“Celeste believed in the good of people, in generosity, in motivating others and in listening with a gentle and non-judgmental spirit. She freely shared her infectious smile, positive attitude and gave the best of herself always.”
On May 23, 2012, Celeste Machiche sustained a traumatic brain injury. Just four weeks prior, at 20, she had registered as an organ, cornea and tissue donor. After death, she gave a second chance at life to four other people.
It was just 20 years earlier when Machiche’s grandfather received a kidney from a young man who had also passed away in a vehicle crash. Her family believes that Machiche took that act of generosity to heart when she registered as a donor.
Her only sibling, Michelle Montijo, shared the impact her sister created through her generosity with health care professionals on May 19.
“I am proud to say Celeste’s preparation and mature choice has helped in our journey of grief. Celeste’s decision minimized our guilt and fear, and we didn’t have to question if donation was the right choice.
In spite of our indescribable heartache, we were able to grasp onto hope, something we so desperately needed at a time when we felt like all hope was lost. One of the greatest fears of a grieving family is that their loved one will be forgotten, and that their name will no longer be said. In knowing she gave life to others, Celeste’s name and love lives on.
As you return to your workplace may you be reminded that your commitment to donation affects those around you, and every action you and your team take matters. By ensuring donation protocol is followed, that your patients and families are treated with dignity and respect, and ensuring a patient’s authorization to be a donor is communicated to Donor Network of Arizona, you too will give grieving families the gift of peace. Your actions, just like my sister’s, are profoundly important, allowing the opportunity to spread love and generosity through donation. On behalf of myself, my family and our Celeste, we thank you for your dedication to this work. May you be inspired by Celeste and the many other donors to continue to make a difference in people’s lives by your continued support of organ, cornea and tissue donation.”
To register in honor of Celeste, please visit her page on LiveOnAZ.org.